11. P (2015-present)

I have been involved in Find the Others from near the genesis of the group, around October 2015. I have been to a number of weekend parties, and met Steve through these. I can only offer an account of my impressions and have not had many direct interactions with Steve. Find the Others offered me an opportunity to connect with many incredible people and transformed my life and social circle in London.

Initially I was a little in awe of those who facilitated FTO parties and events (including Steve), I am still grateful for their labour. I did also feel quite peripheral to the group. I remember the great deal of stress and distress caused by the application system for attending weekend parties. Masquerading as an open way of seeking people who would fit the ethos, this was actually just a popularity contest which triggered deep anxieties in many would-be attendees.

I felt that there was a clique at the core of FTO, I articulated this in conversations with others who felt similarly. There was a clear unspoken hierarchy within events which purported to be non-hierarchical. I observed that some people in this core used their social status and aura within FTO to pursue sexual intimacy, particularly with people who were new or naïve to the group, or to drugs. Some also used FTO as a platform for their egos. Those who did not facilitate either of these aims, or had served their purpose, were sometimes sidelined.

I later became aware that some people had become quite hurt by the actions of others in the group, particularly in sexual and intimate interactions. A number of people felt used, friends were being warned and sharing warnings about the conduct of some in FTO.

Some tried to raise awareness of diversity, power and privilege within the group, but this never seemed to be well supported. The behaviour standards exhibited by a few key people always seemed to fall short of the words and values by which they spoke.

I offer this testimony primarily to support those who have been directly harmed by the actions of Steve or others through FTO. To create the impression of an ecosystem which tolerated or even facilitated harmful acts and did not care enough for those harmed. I do not hold grudges against any individuals, but hope that we can learn to create better spaces in the future. 

P (2015-present)