3. CC (2011-2018)
I met Steve through a mutual friendship group around 2011. We became friends although were not particularly close e.g. I would be glad to see him at parties and we would chat/catch up but I can only remember meeting up 1:1 on one occasion.
We drifted apart as his recreational activities (and day to day life) became increasingly centred around drugs. His social life became increasingly oriented around new group(s) of people who were largely aligned with his relationship to drugs and sex, while my social life largely remained centred around our original mutual friends.
I consciously distanced myself from Steve after several incidents, including:
His having had sex with a participant while facilitating a psychedelic experience [Psychedelic Experience Weekend, October 2014] which I believe was inherently inappropriate. I heard him confirm this happened although he stated he did not believe it to be problematic. (2)
There were many troubling incidents (as detailed in the statement) at FTO events. I was involved in attempts to deal with the underlying culture giving rise to them and attempts to put in place procedures to remedy them. During this I witnessed Steve's denial of the power he holds within the Find the Others community and therefore the responsibility that comes with power (2015 onwards). He is undoubtedly a leader – people turn to him with questions, desire his attention, he is a decisionmaker e.g. about when/where to hold an event, convenor e.g. he would conceive of events, and underwrote expenditure. He has stated that he is not a leader and anyone is free to convene events etc. I found this lack of understanding of the nature of power very troubling. His lack of accountability hampered efforts to address these problems. Without acceptance that there is a problem or need for accountability, there could never be remorse or willingness to change.
Steve’s affect was also a barrier to resolution. I experienced him as disconnected from those around him, while performing connectivity.
We were not so close that I felt it necessary to explicitly end our friendship. I would now no longer consider us friends, invite him to events or vouch for him if asked. I stopped going to Find the Others events because I felt more widely uncomfortable about their culture.
I remain concerned for Steve personally and for the impacts his behaviour continues to have.
CC (2011-2018)
