2. K (2010-2018)

I first met Steve in June 2010 at the Transition Towns Network conference in Devon. We quickly became friends. Steve encouraged me to quit my job (which I didn’t like) and leave my house-share (which I didn’t like) and offered me a space to stay. About a month later I quit my job and house-share and moved temporarily in with Steve. These changes were pivotal in the direction of my life. I felt thankful for encountering Steve and was inspired by his intellect and pragmatism. 

Over the next few years I counted Steve as a close friend and lived with him in three different houses in London. I got involved in UK Uncut alongside Steve. I also introduced him to my line manager at the New Economic Foundation (NEF) where I had been doing an internship. Following this introduction Steve went on to work at NEF, where he helped set up NEON. I was the main character witness for Steve when he faced trial for aggravated trespass as part of a UK Uncut protest in 2011. I write the following statement from a place of care for Steve and all those who have been, or are influenced by him. I also write from the experience of living and socialising with Steve for more than half a decade, between 2010-2016. 

My concerns about Steve and the communities built around his informal and formal leadership began to surface around 2015/2016 whilst I was living with him. During this time, Steve was expanding the Psychedelic Society, and my concerns grew about whether he was acting with integrity, accountability and compassion.

Whilst at the pilot Psychedelic Experience weekend in the Netherlands I heard that Steve, who was facilitating the weekend, had sex with one of the participants directly after she had tripped. Whilst I understood that the sex was consensual, it struck me that for a facilitator to sleep with a participant who had just gone through a very vulnerable experience, was crossing a line. 

With regard to psychedelic drugs, I observed Steve giving out psychedelics frequently in our shared house and at parties. It seemed to me that he liked to draw others into his explorations of intense psychedelic experiences. Over the years of 2015 and 2016 I observed several people who had taken drugs from him experience traumatic trips. On these occasions I observed that Steve showed little care or concern for their safety. (4, 5)

At numerous large weekend house parties (approximately 150 people at each) that Steve informally led on organising (e.g. Jurassica, Purbeck), I observed a lack of understanding of privilege and abuses of power. I observed that the desires of a few privileged people (Steve included) were prioritised over the needs and wellbeing of many others at these parties.

I had many conversations with a variety of people within these spaces over the years of 2015-2017. A lot of people felt that the subculture of these parties could be oppressive, with a lot of peer pressure to take drugs and appear sexually liberated. Some people had tried to raise their concerns and felt they had not been listened to by informal leaders such as Steve. Overall I observed that there was little acknowledgment, compassion or action taken by Steve and the inner circle of mostly white Oxbridge educated men around him, about the concerns raised. The contrast between the stated principles of these spaces and the behaviour within them felt deeply hypocritical. 

Over a period of months, I tried to have conversations about these issues with Steve, who founded the FTO community and was instrumental in making the parties happen. I raised questions about the integrity of his behaviour and leadership and its impact on himself and the wider community. I know that others were also raising concerns with him. For example, I was one of a group of six of Steve’s housemates who met to discuss an intervention with Steve. Two housemates from this group went on to meet with Steve to talk with him about their concerns over his wellbeing, his behaviour and its effect on others. Steve left the house shortly after this. (4, 5) 

It struck me that Steve seemed indifferent to the concerns raised. It appeared he didn’t want to give them time. I felt no real concern from him about what I and others had shared. Steve’s apparent lack of responsibility or care for the wellbeing of others who were struggling, deeply unsettled me. 

In late 2016 Steve and a couple of others organised another big party of about 100 people in Cornwall [The Treguddick Rites]. This was the first gathering that Steve had led on organising, that I had not been invited to. I suspected that I had been left out because I had started to challenge his behaviour and leadership. I reached out to Steve to ask for an invitation and was rebuffed with the explanation that there wasn’t space for me, and that the event in question was not “officially” an FTO event. I found this reasoning to be disingenuous and lacked accountability for his own part in it, and communicated this to him. I raised my suspicion that I had been deliberately left out, because I had raised concerns over his behaviour and leadership. Steve was initially dismissive, but we eventually agreed to a mediation. During our online communications setting it up, Steve pressured me to meet him alone and sort out our issues privately. I felt unsafe to do this. It appeared to me to be a manipulative step. One that I recognised from previous behaviour. I decided I needed to set boundaries for myself and decided only to meet and communicate with Steve with others present. The mediation took place in December 2016, with a neutral facilitator and 3 witnesses present. (13)

I came away from the mediation feeling shocked, angry and sad. It was clear to me that my trust in Steve was broken. I chose to distance myself from him and the circles around him, and have rarely seen him since. 

From 2010-2016 I counted Steve as one of my good friends and shared many formative experiences with him. In many ways I found him an inspiring person to be around. However when I look back on that time I also recognise that he didn’t show much care for me or others when we were feeling at our weakest or most vulnerable. I realise that I often felt insecure around him. I also observed that a lot of others also reported feeling a pressure to impress him in some way. I observed that Steve can come across as a very intellectually intelligent person, and is capable of drawing people close to him quickly. 

Over the six years I was in similar circles with Steve in London, I observed that he can quickly drop relationships with people who challenge him, or no longer offer him something he wants. Similarly I have observed Steve leave groups or networks where his leadership is being challenged e.g. UK Uncut or Find The Others. In this pattern of removal and avoidance, I infer that Steve evades taking responsibility for his behaviour and its impact on people. 

Through continually setting up new projects, new people that Steve works and socialises with don’t get the history of his previous patterns. It strikes me that there is a ‘tyranny of structurelessness’ around Steve that lacks accountability. It ends up favouring himself and those with privilege and social, economic and intellectual capital, and freezing out those who challenge its oppressive nature. 

From experience I can share that challenging Steve and the informal inner circles around him can be a very upsetting, disorientating and isolating experience. My heart goes out to anyone who is/has gone through this. You are not alone. We are connected in a bigger pattern of abuses of power. 

I am writing this from a place of vulnerability, sadness, anger, compassion and hope. I see hope in people who have been hurt by oppressive behaviour breaking the silence, expressing themselves, and feeling solidarity with others. I see hope in building more transparency and more accountability. I see hope in Steve reading this, working through the feelings and thoughts that come up and taking responsible action that benefits those who are vulnerable around him, as well as himself. I know that myself and others have tried to engage with Steve on these issues directly. In the time that I was involved in this in 2015/2016, it didn’t appear that Steve was serious about taking ongoing responsibility for the consequences of his behaviour on others. Instead it seemed that Steve kept following the pattern of leaving relationships/groups/communities that challenged him. 

I am sharing this publicly, so that we can all learn and grow. I think it is in everyone’s interests, including Steve’s, to deal with this information and work towards treating all humans with compassion, and harm reduction. I believe that all humans are capable of doing good as well as harm. I believe that accountability helps to raise our individual and collective standards of human behaviour.

K (2010-2018)